That Is The Most Hyperbole That I Have Ever Experienced In A Zillion Years!

February Arctic Blast!, complete with special graphics & theme music. 6am-noon, the networks' programing was preempted by local coverage of the crippling blizzard of 2011. The openly gay mayor of Portland held a press conference yesterday urging citizens to drive only if they really must & to consider public transportation. Schools were canceled. Businesses closed. In the end, we experienced the tiniest dusting of snow that lasted a couple of hours.

The view downtown early in the morning

I grew up in Eastern Washington, where it snowed several feet a season, with storms from Halloween to Easter. I took my initial drivers' test when I was 16, during a snow storm. We must give a good chuckle to the rest of our great country as Portland, Oregon grapples with the paralyzing flurries that stopped us cold. I am embarrassed. In fact I am more embarrassed than I have ever, ever been in my entire life!

 The view of the back garden at Post Apocalyptic Bohemia. Note the impressive total snow fall.

The forecasters caledl it all wrong, as usual, but we are going to experience record setting cold in the next 48 hours. The most cold Arctic air that has ever blasted into Portland ever in the history of our city! I will most likely freeze to death!

Born On This Day- February 19th... Beautiful, Bodacious, Buxxom Beth Ditto

Portland has an interesting list of our local Rock celebrities including working members from: Modest Mouse, Sleater-Kinney, The Shins, Spoon, Pavement, The Dandy Warhols, Pink Martini,& the current PDX musical royalty- The Decemberists. My very own neighborhood is the home of provocative, powerful, plus-size punker & cover girl- Beth Ditto of the band- Gossip.

No wonder then that Ditto settled in NoPo. Mary Beth Patterson grew up in a 2-bedroom house in Arkansas, with her mother, 6 siblings & a heap full of stepfathers & relatives, at times there would be 12 people living in the tiny house. Her mother worked swing shift as a nurse in attempt to provide for them all. Ditto was left to her own devices, & she would sometimes shoot squirrels to eat. She would do well trying to survive in my back garden- Squirrel Central. Ditto claims that her childhood seems best summed up during a chance meeting with Bill Clinton, then governor of Arkansas: “I looked like some wild animal with bruises on my face & chocolate round my mouth. I asked him to sign my dollar bill & he said: ‘I think that’s illegal, little darlin’.’”


Desperate to make music, at 18 Ditto moved to Portland, Oregon & changed her name. Despite her bad ass voice, she wasn’t an overnight success. It took Gossip 4 albums to make it huge with Standing in the Way of Control in 2007. Being a punk is apparently no less demanding than being a fashionista. Ditto: “If you think fashion is snobby, go hang out with some punks. They are beyond elitist.”

She has been with the same woman- Freddie, for a decade+, though they don’t live together. Ditto: “We tried that once & it did not work. We got together when I was 19. I haven’t had any other experiences in my life... & I won’t.” But a surprising domesticity has crept in, as she recently bought herself a house in my neighborhood. I see her around, & of course I would like to make her acquaintance. Hanging out with Ditto at the many Portland Framers’ Markets would be hot. I would like to take her around to the neighborhood dive bars & music venues & we could determine who has the cheapest whiskey & best Tater Tots.


Ditto turns 30 today. Age & dress size.

Portland Is A Place Where Young People Go To Retire

May I share just a few photographs of some of my favorite sights around zany Portland?

The historic Kenton Firehouse in my neighborhood. I pass by it on dog walks & on my way to the MAX train. Built in 1912 & once housing horse-drawn fire wagons,  it was boarded up in 1959. Neighbors persuaded the city to let them restore the firehouse. They raised $500,000 & reinforced the brickwork, painted & added a new roof & kitchen. They reopened the firehouse for events in 1977. The top floor is the home of the a City of Portland Neighborhood services office. I really like the firehouse a bunch.

From the Max Train in Old Town/Chinatown

Portland has a wealth of vintage neon. I love a good dive bar. This one is in Southeast Portland, close to my company's HQ.

Downtown, close to what used to be the gay area- Vaseline Alley.

2 blocks from my work, They also offer malt liquor & porn.

A block away from work at the Start of the South Park Blocks

A block from Post Apocalyptic Bohemia. This spot recently went out of business, appearently from the lack of crowds on Wens.

Beer, Books, Bikes, Bands, Brews, Bakeries, Bears... Portland

The last 2 days have been a gift. After one of the coolest, wettest summers on record, with a growing season too short to have ripe tomatoes or pumpkins, Portland has enjoyed a glorious autumn. We had days in the 70s & 80s in October.The start of November has been a gift. Today is the 4th day of the month & it will 70+ & sunny. By a zany set of circumstances, I have a 5 days stretch with only one work day. Today, we will continue to put the garden to bed, but I plan to spend a big chunk of time just "being", & enjoying Post Apocalyptic Bohemia & feeling very fortunate to live in Portland, in my nutty neighborhood of Kenton. Tonight the husband is making a vegan feast, I am serving a special autumn cocktail, as we entertain Pony Boy & his BF- Special K for a Glee Marathon. During my staycation, I am hoping to exercise one of my most important maxims:" If to feels or tastes good; more is even gooder."

Today in Post Apocalyptic Bohemian History

Presented by our agent on the day our house became ours- October 8th, 2001. Click on the image to enlarge.

Living in our beloved little cottage in the Wallingford neighborhood of Seattle, we loved to visit Portland for shopping, dining, & adventure. In the late summer 2001, before the world changed forever, the Husband & I were in Portland visiting friends. We had recently been given news by our very good friends, former next-door-neighbors, & landlords, of a sizable & shocking rent increase. Shocking, because we had lived in the cottage for 15 years, paying low rent, but improving the property with major construction, new windows & doors, decks & walkways, & a stunning & imaginative garden that would stop people who were passing by.


The rent increase was offered up by our landlord friends, a couple who we spent holidays with, traveled with, & gave our hearts to. They had explained that since their move to Mexico, the landlords felt that they were forced to get the best possible rent & no longer afford us a “deal”. Distressing news in any light, but complicated by the announcement that they would also be doing major construction, jacking the 700 square foot hovel up to accommodate their new mother-in-law unit. They would use the new daylight basement apartment when they were in Seattle.


The Husband & I were none to thrilled to pay almost twice as much to live in a major construction zone. After 15 years, we began to question improving someone else’s equity, & we began to explore the possibility of owning our own home. I took a one day class on house purchasing. When we received notice that the amount of our pre-qualified mortgage would get us nothing in Seattle (we could possibly get a studio condo way north or south of the city), we were disheartened.


We loved our house & our neighborhood. The Husband & I had a 20 year history in Seattle. We had decades worth of friends & acquaintances. We had employment, friends, & memories. Discussing our situation while driving around on a visit to Portland, the Husband bolted from our automobile in order to grab the flyer from the Plexiglas holder on a for sale sign of a sweet Portland Victorian with a rose garden. This only confused us. Had the listing left off a zero? You could purchase a quality home on Portland, Oregon for $160,000? We felt as if we were in a haze as we motored around Portland. The Husband suddenly demanded- “stop the car, pull over, pull over! Oh my God, oh my God… we are gonna move to Portland!?!”


I came to ask a handsome interesting gentleman on Gay.com for suggestions & advice about moving & living in this beautiful & cool city. This man insisted that the1st step to relocating to Portland would be to engage Celia as my real estate agent. Celia, along with her charming girlfriend, remain friends to this day. She never seemed to mind picking me up in the morning at Portland’s Union Station, showing 10 houses, & getting me back to the train in time to go back to Seattle.


After a few tries of this method, I knew that the Husband would need to be involved in this important life decision. He joined me for 2 days of house hunting. We hated every house we viewed. We were completely discombobulated, not feeling that we lived in the Seattle cottage & not visualizing living in Portland. Celia, the agent: “well based on all the houses you have seen, which one can we get you into? I am not going to be able to show you your dream house. You need to get into a home, let it increase in value, & in a few years we can look for your next one, taking our time to you find that special home”. Hmm… we didn’t know that it worked like that. We chose the house that seemed to be the best blank slate; the cleanest, least offensive residence that we could move into being householders.


We picked Post Apocalyptic Bohemia. We made an offer, then a counter offer that was accepted by the seller. We didn’t love the house. We cried. The Husband returned to Seattle, & gave a month’s notice at his job. I continued to travel by train between the 2 cities to deal with the business of house buying.

The front door & walkway, summer 2010

9 years ago, on this very day, our house closed & I received the keys. I went to the Title Company office with Celia. I was shaking & crying as I signed paper after paper, as myself, & then as the Husband, as his power of attorney. It was frightening & emotional to purchase our 1st home without my man by my side. To add to the emotion, the next day was our 22nd anniversary, & we would not be together. He was living in our old world & I was starting my 1st day in our new world, but we were separated by 3 hours & a ton of doubt.