Left To My Own Devices

I am bachin' it the next few days. The Husband has a design client in Eugene, Oregon (2 hours south of Portland) & is staying until Tuesday. In the past, being a bachelor brought with it bit of bad behavior. Indeed, a half a decade ago, a weekend on my own would have found me getting high & drunk, staying out until last call & then having to face the fact that I was in the hot tub with a pair of brawny redheads & all that it implies. I would then need to busy myself covering my tracks.

Now I am so old that bad behavior consists of catching up on DVR-ed TV viewings of Real Time With Bill Maher, Top Chef, RuPaul's Drag Race, & Selling NY, & then going to bed at 8:30pm...  then trying to cover my tracks.

I have not been really a good boy, for dinner last night I consumed: 1 veggie slice, a side of fries, cheesecake & a martini.

I am so old now... I recently attempted to explain what Carbon Paper was to my staff.

 

I get out of bed at half past ten
Phone up a friend, who's a party animal
Turn on the news & drink some tea
Maybe if you're with me we'll do some shopping

One day I'll read, or learn to drive a car
If you pass the test, you can beat the rest
But I don't like to compete, or talk street, street, street
I can pick up the best from the party animal

I could leave you, say goodbye
Or I could love you, if I try
& I could
& left to my own devices, I probably would

Left to my own devices, I probably would

Pick up a brochure about the sun
Learn to ignore what the photographer saw
I was always told that you should join a club
Stick with the gang, if you want to belong

I was a lonely boy, no strength, no joy
In a world of my own at the back of the garden
I didn't want to compete, or play out on the street
For in a secret life I was a round head general

I could leave you, say goodbye
Or I could love you, if I try & I could
& left to my own devices, I probably would

Left to my own devices, I probably would

I was faced with a choice at a difficult age
Would I write a book? Or should I take to the stage?
But in the back of my head I heard distant feet
Che Guevara & Debussy to a disco beat

It's not a crime when you look the way you do
The way I like to picture you
When I get home, it's late at night
I pour a drink & watch the fight

Turn off the TV, look at a book
Pick up the phone, fix some food
Maybe I'll sit up all night & day
Waiting for the minute I hear you say

I could leave you, say goodbye
Or I could love you, if I try
& I could
& left to my own devices, I probably would

Come on, baby, say goodbye
I could love you, if I try
& I could
& left to my own devices, I probably would

Left to my own devices, I probably would

Out of bed, at half past ten
The party animal phones a friend
Picks up news about the sun
& the working day has just begun

Sticks with the gang - at the back of the street
Pass the test - & you don't compete
Drive the car, if you're with me
Che Guevara's drinking tea
He reads about a new device
& takes to the stage in a secret life

Left to my own devices, I probably would
If I was left to my own devices, I possibly would

Tennett/Lowe



"Young men want to be faithful, & are not; old men want to be faithless, & cannot.”
Oscar Wilde