Saturday, January 1, 2011

Fuck 2010

Fuck 2010:



The year starts with a near divorce. We were married in Vancouver BC. To divorce, we would have to both live in Canada for 2 years. I love Vancouver BC. Hmmm…


A trip to the ER ended with a diagnosis of Deep Venous Thrombosis. The Husband has to give me 2 injections in my stomach every day for 4 weeks. A year ago I took no medications & now I take 6 a day, & I will be on Coumadin for the rest of my life.


The Husband has surgery for DUPUYTREN'S CONTRACTURE. He has a very painful recovery of 20+ weeks. We are now officially Portland’s Fun Couple.


The Husband. I love him, even if he never finishes a project.


The Husband quits his job in a pique, having written an email, venting his frustrations, which was never meant to be sent. It was “accidently” sent. He doesn’t tell me until the evening before his last day because he “didn’t want me to worry.” I worried.


Living on less than half of the income of 2009, the 2010 bills pile up.


The Husband’s father passes away in early summer. He is devastated: “Now I am an orphan…”


Summer 2010, in Portland, is the coolest & wettest in history. I don’t go to the nude beach at Sauvie Island or Rooster Rock. Not even once. I remain very pale.


In early autumn, the Husband’s Chrone’s Disease comes out of a 5 year remission. He is in physical agony much of the time.


The political climate in this country takes a scary & ugly turn. Radical misinformed nutcases take a perfectly lovely term- “Teabagging” & make it into something dirty.


Our canine- Larry goes into a decline. He has trouble walking. He is going deaf. We don’t have the money to do much for him. I feel guilty. I love old dogs, but the death of a dog is an event that I almost can never endure.


Larry the canine. I love him.


I am more than happy to say good bye to 2010. 2011 has a nice ring to it. As always, despite myself, I remain optimistic that we will prevail. I have reason to think that there is the seed of the opportunity that the Husband & I will see our love for each other deepen. My employment is challenging & rewarding; & I will be rewarded with a higher income. It is not impossible that I may still realize my lifelong dream of having my own TV show- Steve!. It is possible that I will lose 60 pounds. I have done it before; January 1989, I weighed 208 pounds & a year later I weighed 160. I know how to do it. There is the chance that James Franco will call me & request that we have cocktails & talk about our feelings for each other. I believe that our little orphan Michael will find his way back into our lives. I feel that the Oregon Ducks will win the championship, & I don’t even really care about football. But, I still want it to happen.


New Year’s Day gives me hope. Happy New Year to all of you. Remember, you are loved.

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